I love being a sole parent except for
- I'd like to run. I cannot just get the dog and go for a run before Boo gets up or when she goes to bed, and she cannot ride her bike fast enough yet to go with me
- I'd love to home school Boo... but who would pay the mortgage? Instead I will ensure she gets the best possible education I can provide for her
- The spontaneous night out, is mostly out of the question
- The ease and logistics of packing up and moving country, moving city, or even moving to the country to remove the itch from my feet
- The worry that donor dad will at some point disrupt the status quo
I think I can live with that list of cons, I won't give you the pros the list would go on forever... and as for home schooling as much as I love the *idea* and envy those of you that home school, I really don't think I could, Boo and I would kill each other!
9 comments:
You know...There are times in my marriage where I feel the only benefit is I can homeschool Jack!!! When things were really rough for us, that's probably the main reason I stayed in the marriage.
During those times I also dreamed of finding someone new. But then I started thinking when the hell would I have time to go on dates???
I'm pretty happy with my situation now. It sounds like you're doing well with yours. I think there are pros and cons to both single parenting and co-parenting.
Yeah and I hope your donor guy doesn't show up and all that. I'd be nervous too about it.
The pro list is pretty spectacular... But I think it's good to take stock every now and then and give yourself some credit for the personal sacrifices we make as solo parents.
I would find the SD worry incredibly stressful. Kudos to you for finding a way to keep it from taking over!!
On the running thing - I have been know to do laps around our house before the girls wake up in the morning. I'm glad our neighbours can't see... lol
You know, Boo is always welcome to come and do some homeschooling with us while you go scratch your itch o/s. I'm sure her and the girls would get on famously!
You are doing a damn fine job despite it all.I am glad your pros list outweighs the cons.
I sometimes think about homeschooling but I don't know how the mothers do it - patience of a 'saint' only need apply.
Oh man, I hear you!! Especially the ones about not being able to spontaniously have a night out, or exercise in the early morning or the evening.
Still, the benefits of not having to co-parent are pretty good.
But I PRAY that the SD doesn't make an appearance. Mine is the bane of my existance.
xoxoxox
Monet and I would drive ourselves around the bend if I homeschooled her!! Thank goodness for the education system I say - and I come from a teaching family. Like you, as long as I can give Monet the best eduction possible in the education system then so be it...
I sometimes think about the travel stuff - holidays without Monet but my time will come again whe it will just be Lyndon and I. And you've taken Boo o/s before, you can take her again! (Remembering in most places kids 4 or under are usually free - except for the plane bit.)
I hear you, although I sometimes wonder how much co-parents actually do those spontaneous things anyway! ;)
I'd add to the list - knowing that at the end of the day, you are the only one who is ever going to do the dishes/washing/ironing/cleaning (at least until they're old enough to put to work) and not having someone to talk to about parenting - someone who knows your kids as well as you do and cares about them just as much. (There are people who come close to this, but still it's not the same as a co-parent)
But, as you say, there are also many, many pros to the situation. :)
Even us co-parents have difficulties getting out spontaneously. And exercising/running/etc. is just as difficult for SAHM SWMBO - when I'm out working, she's home with children - just as if she were a single Mom. Granted, when I come home she's free to go run and stuff - but that's in the evening and it isn't always predictable when I'd get home. No- as a single Mom, your problems are very similar to those of a SAHM.
parents amaze me.
full stop.
doing it solo is just WOW.
and i don't think it's similar to stay at home parents.
for however much that counts.
Dina - Dates??? God, I don't even have time to think about dates, let alone time to go on any!
Jen - If I didn't have such a stubborn, strong willed young lady in my care, I really would want to give it a go.
Alison - I'm sure Boo would fit in with your girls really well but do you honestly, for a moment think, I could ever leave her???
Trish - Not so much patience here somedays... won't be applying!
Fe - The exercise thing is top of my con list! Unfortunately, SD does text every couple of months, so I feel the re-appearance will not be an 'if' but a 'when.'
Melody - Like I said Boo and I would kill each other if home schooling was on our agenda :)
With travel, I'm more than happy to take Boo, I actually meant relocating overseas, interstate or country!
Guera - Oh yeah, I'd love if someone would give me an hour or so of child free time (or just entertain my child) in the evening to do those jobs!
I also forgot the military precision of planning a trip to the hairdresser!
Lou - Ah but a SAHM does have the opportunity to run in the evening or early morning, or have some time out when your home... but I do see where you're coming from.
Sammi - Thanks Sammi :)
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